Overlord Rules with Uzumaki Naruto
by Kyuubi16
Summary: A spoof of the Evil Overlord rules with Naruto as an Evil Overlord.  250 plus rules lamp-shaded plot devices, cliche, and other tropes that are literally older then dirt.
1. Pexi Glass Visors

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villians are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villian read these rules.

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Evil Overlord Rule 1: _My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones._

Overlord Naruto was dashing down the hallways. Some of those damn pesky heroes were once again invading his castle. What part of just because he was an Overlord didn't mean he was evil did these dumbasses did not understand? Naruto's legion of soldiers or Terror, whichever he preferred to call them at the moment; not that he consistently cared, wore a special watch that immeadtely summoned and equipped them with all purpose armor. Over twelve different sets for all purposes such as being magma proof or water gear.

''You two! Come here!'' Naruto ordered the two legion of black clad figures. On the silver armor was the insignia of the Tentai and their helmets had clear plexi-glass visors that allowed his soldiers to see to improve their accuracy and allowed him able to see them. Not to mention they were the specially made bullet proof ones as well. Can't have bullets shattering glass and putting two in your ten spot.

''You called for us Lord Naru...'' the first figure didn't get a chance to speak as Naruto wiped out his personal pistol and blasted him in the face killing him. Before the second one could react Naruto blasted a whole through his visor as well. These plexiglass visors of course were made strong enough to resist most weapons they were not made strong enough for Naruto's personal weapons.

''Dumbasses,'' he murmured as he shook his head. They went to all the trouble to disguise themselves yet they didn't bother covering the tatoos on their head from their village. Then again if they were his soldiers they would have been aware of the feature to activate so they could see outside and not end up wondering around aimlessly for the last half hour. Another feature Naruto had included after having spoke with his five year old child advisor.

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A fun little story I've been waiting to do. Let me know what you think? Oh and there is over 250 rules just for the Evil Overlord ones so it's going to take awhile.

And no there is no set time period yes I'm not giving the Heroes names or descriptions. It's a humor/Parody fic and it isn't supposed to be all that serious. If you're the type of annoying as flamer or stop having fun guys that can't handle it don't bother.

These are fictional characters. These are fictional stories not published literature. I'm not holding a gun to your head and forcing you to read my stories. If you can't give constructive criticism without insulting me don't bother contacting me or reviewing me. I write stories for my enjoyment and for people who enjoy them. So for those of you who go around and demand people write up to your strict standards you can go shove it.

Preview: Evil Overlord Rule 2: My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.


	2. Too small ventilation shafts

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villians are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villian read these rules.

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_Evil Overlord Rule 2: My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.  
><em>

''We will use this ventilation duct!'' The Hero stupidly declared as he, the Herione, the Lancer also known in most media as the second in command, and the Tagalong Kid climbed into the overly large ventilation duct that they were using to escape from their prison cell. Unfortuantely for them to Overlord that they were fighting against wasn't a complete moron due to contrive plot devices.

''Hey they've escaped!'' One of the mooks/LoT exclaimed as he peered out through his pexi-glass visor. ''It's Tuesday...do we send in the poison snake or the poison scorpions?''

''Scorpions...definitely scorpions.''

As the would be heroes cotninued on the space became smaller and smaller until they realized that the space shrunk to an impossibly small size for any normal human to crawl through. Unfortunately for the group the only person who could fit through that space would be a cute animal critter to squeezer through, but the Overlord also manage to get him too. (See later Overlord Rule.)

''Scorpions!'' The Herione shrieked as the would be gooders were attacked and brutally murdered by the poisonous and heavily altered animals.

''The prisoners are dead sir!" One of the Legion of Terrors informed Naruto. ''The idea to renovate the place from the floor up once you got the blue prints and made sure the ventilation shaft was too small for a human size person to crawl throughw as brilliant sir.''

''You've been reading the rules haven't you Mook?'' Naruto asked as he stroked the head of his killer boned fox with creepy glowing purple eyes.

''I was looking for the Guide that gives helpful rules to henceman sir and couldn't help but be entranced by the rules and how Overlords of the past could be so stupid.''

''Very well you're dismissed. Now send in my mistresses.''

Hinata Hyuuga, Misato Katsuragi, Botan, Shihoin Yoruichi, Nico Robin, Seras Victoria, Asuka Tenjoin, Fujiko, Rushuna Tendo, and Mizore Shirayuki were sent in wearing either Harem girl outfits or slave girl outfits. ''Yes...most excellent.''

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Once again this is a fanfic and it's not to be taken seriously. Now everyone who knows the old me knew I ranted endlessly about Yaoi, but then I realized something. It's not Hurting me! People are writing them for people who enjoy that stuff and I have to accept that. Yes it pisses me off when yaoi girls make characters gay who aren't gay, but hell if I can do crossovers and Harems then I should accept their right to write yaoi. No point in being hypocritical. I still hate and will never accept M-Preg though. That's a major you fail at biology forever and the whole they're wizards or demons are still bullshit justifications as men still don't have the necessary organs to substain and nurture life unless their specified in species and the proper steps and hormone treatment is described and undergone.


	3. Noble Half Brothers Must Die!

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villians are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villian read these rules.

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_Overlord Rule 3: My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon._

''Oh come on I'm your brother? Y-You don't have to kill me. Just imprison me in the dungeon and you'll never have to hear from me again.'' The younger twin look alike pleaded with Overlord Naruto.

''Hhm I don't know. It seems more convienent for you then beneficial for me.'' Naruto said stroking his chin. DIABOLICAL CHIN STROKING! 

''Sir...if we keep him alive that's just one more person to feed when the money could go elsewhere. Like Beer or Hookers.'' One of his advisors suggested.

''Or a new string Bikini for Ten-Ten!'' Naruto looked down at his brother. ''If you seen Dat Ass you would understand. Just the way it jiggles is the damn reason why she wears armor so much so people won't hit on her so much. And it's not right damnit! I should see that as jiggling all day whenever I please! So yeah because you're so noble and shit dear brother! For some reason for nearly every empire a resistance is formed! And if not publically what's to stop someone from forming a plan and having you replace me? That is something I can't allow mostly due to my own paranoia. So this is goodbye...Guns!''

Naruto ordered as several trays of guns were brought to him. Pulling up a hand gun he unloaded all six rounds into his brother's torso. Then picking up an Itacha he blew his head off. ''Now go put his body in the fire exhaust or whatever it's called. Then go call an exorcist and exorcise his soul so it won't cling to this world.'' (Check out two or three different overlord rules later down the line.)


	4. Just Shoot Him Already!

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villians are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villian read these rules.

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Overlord Rule 4: _Shooting is** not** too good for my enemies._

''I swear even if it takes...'' The Hero's brains were blown out as Naruto blew out the smoke from the tip of his gun.

''Holy shit sir!'' One of the Legions and Terrors cried out. ''I got brain juice all over me!''

''Yeah well...you should have moved.'' He said as kicked the hero over and unloaded several bullets into the chest. ''You guys know the procedure. Unload your ammunition on him, set the body on fire, and call the exorcist.'' He said as he walked away to have an orgy with his mistresses. It was a special occasion as a new girl by the name of Neliel was joining them today.


	5. Kid has a point! Safe deposit box away

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villians are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villian read these rules.

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Story Start

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Evil Overlord 5: _The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness._

''Okay sir I know the perfect place to hide the artifact that is the source of your power!'' One of his advisors exclaimed. ''There is a mountain of despair fifty miles north of here. There rests a powerful and legendary beast known as the Dragon of Eternity who guards the Tower of Endless where  
>only the most diligent can tranverse it's boundless maze.''<p>

''Why not just put it in your safe deposit box?'' Naruto's 5 year old child advisor suggested.

''I'm going with the 5 year old advisor's idea. Fucking heroes always pull off some unrealistic and contrived shit during their adventures. They'll never have the common sense to figure out I would do something so mundane.''

After several decades of searching for the Overlord's source of power the heroes grew old and frail with time and the Overlord trained his children in the ways of Savvy. Turning the Kingdom over to his children Overlord Naruto and his mistresses retired to Alcupulco.


	6. Kill, Don't Gloat!

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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Naruto x Girl of the Week

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''Normal Speech''

_Inner Thoughts, Dialogue, or reading passages from books and scrolls_

(Quick Notes and Messages or Echoes.)

**(Dark over lapping echoes)**

**''Boss Summons, Demons, Dark beings speaking, Demonic/Angry characters Speaking as well as extremely Dark spells and Magic.''**

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villians are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villian read these rules.

Since I have food poisoning I wasn't able to update til tonight. If I don't update tomorrow you know why.

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Overlord Rule 6: _I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.  
><em>

The Hero was ready for Overlord Naruto's gloating to put his plan in action. When Overlord Naruto began gloating the Hero would have his cute furry animal sidekick distract the man and pull out his gun and shoot the Overlord. As all Overlords stopped to gloat at their prey before killing them. Aah yes it was a staple in the genre.

Overlord Naruto prepared his weapon and trained in on the hero. ''You're fucked!'' Naruto said as he fired into the chest of the shocked hero. Blood dripped from the heroes mouth as he was fired upon several more times.

''You know the drill!'' Naruto told his legion of terrors. He was not going to fall for the same thing his predecessors did. Gloating about their enemies predicament insteading of doing the smart and logical things instead of just out right killing them. With yet another hero dead the Overlord could now go enjoy the orgy of horny forest elves and succubus his servants had procured.


	7. Shoot Don't Explain!

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villians are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villian read these rules.

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Story Start

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Evil Overlord Rule 7:_When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."_

Naruto had captured his adversary in his inner sanctum. It was yet another day in the life of the Overlord as he was fending off another Hero. They were like damn cockroaches those heroes! A couple of days ago he dispatched of a hero that game him the Macguffin because she regused to sacrifice anyone. Fucking moron. (Reference: Anime Sailor moon.) Then he dispatched another jackass who had a powerful familiar he could summon, but he didn't allow her to fight because of some chivalarious bullshit. No Deus Ex Machina to save him that day. (Reference: Emiya Shiro.)

The week before that was a Hero that refused to kill which gave him the ample time to fire his superweapon. After all he was the evil Overlord why the hell should he be sporting or fair? (See later Overlord rule.) Then there was the jackass who tried to save his friend who explicity told the Hero he was not being mind controlled or anything and excepted the overlord's power and could not accept that putting the entire resistance at risk was not the smart thing to do which it was not. (Reference: Naruto) Yeah, that one made him felt a bit uncomfortable.

To Naruto's annoyance it seems like one out of every five of these heroes were starting to get a little smarter then the last. Then again if they were all jackasses like that one wide-eyed idealist kid that forgave everyone and kept gave him another chance even though he burned down an ally village. (Reference: Yuuri from Kyou Kara Maou-This one I got from Tropes and Idioms.)

But alas Naruto was glad he was the only person who could be considered somewhat evil to have read this list. Now if a true monster actually read this list or another Evil Overlord the world would truly be fucked. But alas it was the blond's high light of the week. He was going to get to kill another Hero. Thank god he got his hand on one of those pesky time traveling devices and cloned himself numerous times and hid the clones away so one of them would be activated upon his death.

"Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" The Hero asked as Naruto promptly pulled out his gun and shot him between the eyes.

''No...'' He answered. Thank god he remembered to shoot first this time instead of answering. Last time that amost gave the hero time to pull off one of those damn escapes. Even though logically one shouldn't be able to come up with plans in mere seconds, but then there wouldn't be those so called super genuises.


	8. Quiet Marriage Ceremony

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villians are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villian read these rules.

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Story Start

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_Evil Overlord Rule 8: After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out._

Large and Lavish festivals not only cost a lot of money, but drew in far too much attention. That was the simple fact and it just beckoned the hero to try and come to stop you. What was the problem with a small ceremony with only close friends and family members? So that was what Naruto had done after the last committee meeting when he decided that his PR department would now have advertised as the Neutral Overlord. So yeah that was why he was marrying a woman by the name of Princess Peach Toadstool.

He didn't know why the Princess didn't use money to buy a security system or better bodyguards? The toad guards were very ineffective and easy to defeat. Anyway once he married Peace and coincidentally gained the power over the protective magic she carries and added the Mushroom kindgom to his empire thanks to Mushroom Kingdom's way of ruling being old school where the King held status over the Queen he would finally have enough land to open his chain of new restaraunts.

The best part was that the wedding was thrown together at the last minute with several false weddings were set up to keep those pesky heroes away and ruining his plan. Said plan which was already covertly underway and would soon be finished once he finished clearing up those zoning violations.


	9. No More Self Destruction!

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villains are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villain read these rules.

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_Rule 9: I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such._

The heroes were running down the corridor, running away from the Overlord's legion of warriors. Somehow getting their hands on the blue prints for the Overlord's base they made it to the epicenter of his base. Barring the door behind him the Hero ran up to the console. ''Come on...come on.'' he said as he fumbled around. The black haired young man was looking for the self-destruct mechanism that would bring the base tumbling down.

''Hurry up! We can't hold him much longer!'' the Lancer of the group; a tall, long silver haired pretty boy.

''Found it!'' the tag along kid said as he pressed a large red button labelled ''Danger: Do Not Push!'' Several sections of the wall opened as the group was fired by wall mounted guns, triggering a spray of bullets on the fools stupid enough to disregard it. The door opened and Naruto walked in, kicking the dead body of the fury creature. ''Janitors!'' Naruto shouted as some workers walked in.


	10. Just Buy a Hotel Room!

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villains are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villain read these rules.

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_Rule 10: I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum - a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well._

Naruto entered the room where the bound and gagged hero was. This boy, this Taichi had been a thorn in his side for quite awhile. Unlike the other heroes he had somehow always miraculously escaped. The boy seemed quite savvy, so savvy in fact that it seemed to rub off on his companions. Naruto had to figure out his secrets. The boy wasn't one of those idiot heroes types and was remarkably quiet. Naruto spent hours torturing the boy only for nothing to happen. Being called away Naruto left three guards with machine guns to guard the hero.

Somehow, someway he managed to get away. Damn heroes and there luck! Well at least Naruto had the hindsight to bring him to a small outside well outside his borders. Borders which were guarded by snipers and buried land mines in fact. All he had to do was listen for a sound of a bullet fire or an explosion to let Naruto know the little pest was taken care of.


	11. Just be Secure!

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villains are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villain read these rules.

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Rule 11:_ I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat._

It was over and he had one. The heroes were unable to stop his supreme reign because they didn't have a single clue on his plans besides the broad strokes and rumors that he purposely spread around. Every time someone attempted a coup or an attack they were ordered to death; in fact Naruto remembered it clearly. They had invaded an empire who had an underground child sex-ring running under the public's nose. But of course since he wasn't some naive wide-eyed idealist and the fact he eliminated his enemies everyone treated him like some kind of cruel and sadistic monster.

''No matter how long it takes I'll sto...'' the young hero's head went flying as Naruto severed his head from his blade. Hero; it was nothing more now then a generic label given to anyone who went against Naruto. It annoyed him to no end that people kept trying to overthrow him. He started listening to his people and limited the public executions and eased up on the taxes. Hell he even passed a take your kid to work day and passed some new laws for better medicare. Oh well, it was time to go take care of that little problem plaguing the water system.


	12. Children These Days

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villains are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villain read these rules.

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Story Start

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_Overlord Rule 12: One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation._

''Sire can I watch TV?'' Naruto's five year-old adviser asked?

''Yeah sure Daichi. Want to watch some Anime?'' Naruto asked as he walked over to his DVD case.''How about Yugioh?''

''I don't like Yugioh sire,'' little Daichi said as he scratched the back of his head. ''I never understood why the villains never shot the main character instead of challenging him to a children's card game.''

''How about Bleach?''

''Not enough plot, things from earlier episodes are forgotten, and the villain is too powerful so its kind of boring. It's too predictable that the Protagonist will win.''

''One Piece?''

''Idiot Hero who wants to be the best! Pass!''

''Hey now One piece is pretty good.''

''Not saying it isn't Sire but nothing I haven't seen before.''

''Okay then how about a movie?'' he said as he went to another self. ''Aladdin?''

''No, because once again the plot makes the villain student. All the Jafar character had to do was simply toss Aladdin a few coins and sent him on his way rather than double-crossing him after the lamp was retrieved.''

Naruto rose an eyebrow. ''Are you sure you're five. You sure as hell don't act like it.''

''I was deprived quite a bit as a child Sir. My parents had me read quite a bit as they had hopes and dreams of one day becoming one of your administrative aides which indeed happened.''

''Uum okay...you know what just grab whatever.'' Naruto remarked with a sigh. At least the kid had good taste and grabbed the DVDs of the first and second seasons of Gargoyles and only those two as everyone know season three besides the first episode sucked.


	13. Shoot, Stab, and Cremate

Overlord Rules with Naruto Tentai

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A spoof of the Evil Overlord and various other lists. The reason why most heroes win (despite being idiots) is because the villains are even dumber via cliche. So here I will spoof the rules via Kyuubi16 style. For anyone who wants to write a good villain read these rules.

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Story Start

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_Evil Overlord Rule 13: All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal._

Naruto looked down at the body of the latest hero that tried to kill him. He was another callous youth, same shaggy brown hair and light colored skin. Like hundreds of others he weilded the power of fire and charged in, hardly knowing a thing about strategy and to think all it took was a single bullet wound to the head. Naruto looked around, his employees (the minions didn't like being referred to as such anymore and made a damn movement over it) were all dead. For being the so called hero he didn't mind slaughtering hundred of employees. ''Well that takes care of that.'' Naruto said as he began walking away.

''Aaaah!'' the hero scream, jolting up, causing Naruto to spin around, pull out his gun and shoot him in the chest resulting in the hero to fall back to the ground, seemingly dead.

''Whoo...the hell?'' Nartup gasped as he breathed in and out. He was not expecting that. There was no way in hell that the hero.

''Aaaah!''

''What the shit!'' Naruto replied as he emptied the entire round of his gun into the hero. Surely this time he would be dead right? There was no way in hell one survived six bullets to the chest.

''AAAAH!''

''For fuck's...'' he unsheated his sword and ran through the hero. There was no way in hell he was going to survive a sword being run through his heart.  
><strong><br>''AAAAAAAAAAH!''**

''Summoning no Jutsu!'' Naruto replied as he summoned Gamabunta to crush the hero. From now on all his enemies were going to be cremated, no exceptions.


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